Hey You…

Hey you. You’ve changed. You used to be cool and calm under pressure. Now what? You liberal. You sheep! You’re too loud. Too outspoken. You ruffle feathers! Do you not realize what you’re doing? You’re just one voice, you can’t possibly think you can make a difference. Sit down. Hey you.

Hey you. Will you just stay in your lane? You’re not Black. You’re not Gay. You’re not Trans. They don’t need you! You’re sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong to try and “fit in”. ALL LIVES MATTER! Especially mine. It’s the most important. You don’t agree? Well then you’re Anti-American. Get out! Hey you.

Hey you. Can you tone it down? Can you just be a lady for once? Can you just follow the social norm and stop trying to “change the world”. Can you just SHUT UP already??? You’re just so young. You’ll change when you get older. You’ll see. Once you have more experience. Once you research. No, not that research. Do you even know what you’re reading??? Hey you.

Hey you. You try too hard. Why are you always trying to reinvent the wheel? Can’t you just leave it be? I hired you to make a difference, but only differences I agree with. Can you stop coming up with so many ideas? I like to put in minimal effort, and you’re making me look bad. You have more passion than me, therefore I’m intimidated and don’t think we should work together. Hey you.

Hey you. Wow. Two college degrees and you stay at home? How does it feel to have your husband pay for everything? You must feel less-than. You can’t call yourself a feminist! You don’t have a job! No, being a mom isn’t a job. Real women work outside of the home, and then take care of everything else on top of that! What even are you? WHO even are you? Hey you.

Hey you. How does it feel? To not have a purpose? To not believe in the great unknown? Man you must be miserable. You must be blind to all of God’s creations. Aren’t you worried about Hell? How are you functioning without the Bible? Where is your community??? You should pray. No wait, I’ll pray for you. Hey you.

Hey you. You must be so lonely. You spend so much time on social media. You put your kid in front of a TV! That’s probably why your kid isn’t “normal”. Are you even a good mom? Do you even LIKE being a mom?! I saw you share a status about mothers needing breaks from their kids. I told all my friends about it. And we sat and felt sorry for you, because kids are a blessing. Get some friends! But not my friends, because we’ve all made up our minds about you already. Hey you.

Hey you. Why are you so boring? You’re telling me your idea of fun is movies or singing along to your favorite playlists? What a loser. That’s why you don’t have friends. No one wants to hang out with you. You’re just a boring mom. You should get a hobby. But not a hobby that I don’t like. And speaking of friends, the few you do have probably don’t really even like you. You are always bad at returning calls. You plan out get togethers way far in advance. Can’t you just come over? Live a little. Hey you.

Hey you. Your kid has Autism? That’s terrible! What are you going to do? Autism is so hard. They’ll never be able to live a normal life! Wait, is this her? She doesn’t LOOK like she has Autism. Are you sure? I think you’re being dramatic. She probably just doesn’t want to talk. You’re just pressuring her. She seems fine. My kids didn’t talk until they were five. I think you need a new doctor. Hey you.

Hey you. Look at you! You’ll never look like her. Stop trying. Your breasts are too big. You can definitely tell you had a kid. Postpartum isn’t a good look on you. And you had a kid two years ago. You can’t use that excuse anymore. You should’ve just bounced back! Why didn’t you? Why don’t you just exercise? Eat better? McDonalds isn’t good for you. You are what you eat! Hey you.

Hey you. I saw you started taking better care of yourself! Good for you! How much have you lost? Oh that’s just water weight, you’ll plateau soon. Gosh you’re only THAT size after HOW LONG? I was that size after I had all my kids… Are you sure that program is working? I tried it, and it didn’t work for me, which means it doesn’t work for anyone. Only 3 days a week for exercising? Well that’s not enough! You’re still eating bread? Well Pinterest says to cut out all carbs, and sugar, and fruit. Hey you.

Hey you. Gosh you’re ugly. Would a little mascara hurt? Just add some blush. But not too much blush. Yikes… You don’t know anything about eyebrows? When was the last time you had filler in your lips? No, no, it doesn’t hurt. It’ll make you feel so much better!!! While you’re there, have the doctor check out your breasts/thighs/stomach. I bet there’s something he can do! We’ll schedule an appointment. Hey you.

Hey you. You’re laughable! You really think you’ve got what it takes? You don’t. Your dreams are just that! You’re indecisive, inconsistent, and irrelevant. You’re uninteresting, and just don’t fit the “mold”. You can’t do what they do! And if you try, I’ll make fun of you. That’s right, every time you feel a fire in your belly, I’ll be there to blow it out. My candle is the only one that is allowed to stay lit! Don’t even try. Hey you.


Hey YOU. I like me. You don’t have to.


Published by LaurenQuiroga

Just a loud, outspoken, wine loving Mama trying to make the world a better place one seflie at a time!

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